Sigh. There is a long and lonely emptiness here. It’s haunting this house and sitting in the bed next to me. It’s strange what the mind (and more to the point: my mind) does at night when nobody is around. I hear the voices of loved ones saying my name, and I have to momentarily remind myself that there’s no one here.
Don’t get me wrong, I can be single and I don’t mind being single. Really, I don’t.
I liken it to those first few months after my mom died… every morning, waking up for the first four or five seconds was complete bliss. But reality was always there to remind me soon enough, and I’d be reminded that she isn’t ever coming back.
I’m not sad or depressed tonight, just lonely and thinking about getting out of the house… if only I could feel like I can get a full lung of air (see post below). I’m a little overly analytical tonight, too, so maybe I should just shut my mind off somehow.
Anybody up for getting insanely drunk with me? That’ll do it.