Speaking of the past (see my previous post), just recently I was thinking about my stage presence when I play with my band.
A year or so ago, I could never really move to the music. I would stand as still as a statue (regardless of the amount of drink I’d had), and very rarely smiled. I looked like I hated playing live.
Which wasn’t true, but there was always a struggle going on inside of me with how I should react to some of the songs.
You see, Criss (our lead singer) and I have always kind of just sat down and worked out how the song would sound. Sometimes Criss would come to the band and we’d all attempt to play a song together. But the thing is, as I wrote a bass line or figured out the parts I would sing with, I would start to put a part of myself in to the song. In a way, it would become a part of me.
Later on and each time we’d play a song, I’d find myself thinking about how it was made and who in my life at the time influenced the way it sounded or how I felt when I wrote my part to it.
And I’d get angry. Livid.
I’m better about it now, but there are still songs that I honestly want to take my bass off and throw it at someone random in the audience. You can see it the way I scream in to the mic during certain backup vocals.
I just find it interesting that, something as simple and innocuous as a song could send me reeling and spinning out of control for a moment.
During a song called, “Damn You”, I literally punch and hit the strings on my bass during the chorus. I hit them so hard that I get bruises on my thumbs and fingers. And it’s not that I’m imagining hurting someone from my past, but I let all my frustration and the things that bothered me well up for a moment and I abuse the only thing I have with me at the time: my bass.
I wonder how many performers have the same issue?