I’m sitting here in the dark watching a burning candle, inhaling incense, and listening to music playing in the background. It reminds me of many of my long nights spent searching for truth and the reasons why and what for.
I can’t say that I have any answers for the questions I’ve asked, past or present. I don’t know why I came to be the person that I am, or why things worked out the way that they did. All I know is that life being what it is, a surprising chain of small moments and realizations, my ignorance will have to do. I’m okay with that.
I’m content to sit in the dark watching the shadows play along the walls and contemplate my life and my relationship with the world, the universe, and the existence of God.
I’ve waited and waited for God to believe in me, figuring then we’d have something to talk about, but have never heard from him. And I have tried and tried to sell my soul but found that there were never any takers. And I’m pretty sure it’s on a street corner somewhere, in a small desert town, staring out at the sun and sand and wondering what I’m doing these days…
… wondering if I’m ever coming back.