You can be angry all you want, and that’s the problem; when you really consider life and the things around you, it seems inevitable that anger follows.
Today I’m left bereft of hope and solace, and I have no idea why. It seems the world is full of nothing but broken promises and broken truths that fail to measure up.
Why is it that nobody can ever seem to say what they mean, do what they say, and just leave it at that? Why is it filled with half truths, and “things I probably won’t do”, and “things I have no intention of doing”. What the fuck does intention have to do with anything? I have no intention of dying, does that mean I’m going to magically live forever?
Why can’t it be, “I will not.” or “I will.” or “Yes” or “No”? Why does everything in between have to be so fucking complicated, and why does everyone feel the need to tread within the gray area to their hearts content?
I was thinking about something I wrote, and it fits my day and my mood today. I’m posting it here because, well, I’ve got nothing left to write that isn’t a rehash of old bullshit.
Have you ever…
Have you ever had one of those days
where you can’t seem to find center?Where every second spent out of bed
is that much closer to the bathtub
and razor blades you keep at arms reach?When you look out the window and notice
that today, like yesterday, the sun
isn’t burning quite as bright?There’s a pile of shit in your yard that belongs
to the dog across the street, the neighbor stole
your parking space, and somebody is fucking your wife for you?You’ve been dead your whole life,
but now you can’t help but feel alive.It doesn’t get any better than this.