So I’ve gotta ask anyone that’s reading this (please comment if you have an opinion)… what’s it like to have a mother when you’ve grown up? My mom died when I was 17, and it just bugs the hell out of me how much of my life she has missed. She didn’t see my graduation from high school, or my first “real” job, apartment, house, wife, divorce (heh), or otherwise.
There are so many life events that happen in those years, and she was gone from them. I’m not really looking for bad stories from all you folks, I just wish I had some kind of comparison to go by. My dad has been around for everything, and for that I’m grateful. He’s the best dad I’ve ever met, and I mean that. I’m lucky enough that he wasn’t led by example by his father.
Some time ago my dad said to me (after his mom, my grandma, almost died), “I don’t know what I’d do without her. I need my mom.”
And honestly, I can’t help but feel the same way. I need my mom, and tonight I’m feeling cheated. All I have are memories of her; pictures and a few videos, and that’s it. I can’t watch the videos without breaking down. There’s something about hearing the voice of someone that’s been dead almost 10 years that is… not only haunting, but incredibly saddening. I miss her voice, and I miss her advice.
I just wish I knew what it was like to have that as an adult, but I never will. I’m missing out on a huge experience, in a life that I’ve always been careful to try and experience as much as possible, whatever the cost or the consequences… and this time, I have no opportunity.
Share your experiences, if you will, a time where you needed your mom or a time when you valued having her. I know I can’t be the only one, and I need that validation for how I’m feeling right now. Plus, it might be good for you to write about it. You never know when they’ll be gone for good.