Happy New Year! For better or for worse, 2008 is now gone and we are left timidly venturing in to 2009. I spent my last night of ’08 on stage, screaming the countdown to the new year with a glass of vodka in one hand, and my bass in the other. I don’t think that I would have wanted to spend it any other way, or with better people. My band members, Steff, Criss, and our (now leaving) drummer Eric, were on stage to bring it all home.
Out in the crowd included my father, my friend Trina and her family and daughters, my best friend from high school Eric and his wife Andrea. It was fantastic, and I absolutely loved the night that I had.
Today I got up without much effort, even though I seem to remember drinking directly from a wine bottle toward the end of the night. It’s kind of fuzzy.
Anyway, I went out to breakfast with my dad this morning, and he ended up going home right around six o’clock this evening. I decided that, if I’m going to start with a new year, my house and my mind and my body should have a fresh, clean start.
I started cleaning my house: I did the dishes, laundry, tidied up the room that I never use, vacuumed the entire house, and found that, intentionally or not, there were a great many things in my home that remind me of people from my past. Nothing huge, a nick knack here, a little trinket there, maybe a stain on the carpet from when someone spilled a drink, weird little things like that. I discovered that, not only was I surrounded by my past, I was dwelling in it.
I spent a moment with each memory, thinking back and touching on that relationship or that friendship. I was telling my dad last night that the unfortunate thing about being human is that, good or bad, if a relationship ends and lasted for six months (all of which were great), and ended on one bad week… we always concentrate on all the horrible things that happened in that week. We never see the five million great things a person has done for us, only the dozen or so wrongs they had done.
So I looked back tonight, and I spent time appreciating all the people that have helped me and nudged me along the way to where I am today. I held each momento for a moment, reflected, smiled and set it aside. When I was done, I took each one, each nick knack, each dish, vase, figurine, stuffed animal, blanket, and anything else that even had the tiniest tangental relation to someone, and I threw them away. All of them. I kept what was from friends that are still with me these days, but everything else is gone.
I spent time scrubbing the floor of a stain that had been around for a couple of years… it’d had always bothered me, and had always reminded me of the person that caused it. It’s gone now. I washed the walls, nothing serious, but they seem just a bit brighter this evening. I burned some nag champa incense, turned the music so loud that my walls rattled, and wrote poetry sitting in my recliner in the living room.
For all the moments strung together that are the sum of our lives, tonight I’ve learned which ones to hold on to, which ones to forget, and which ones to scrub away.
Then I left the house. It seemed to me that, on a life affirming evening such as this, I shouldn’t be alone.
I drove downtown and hung out at Henry’s bar for a little while, talking with random strangers and honestly just enjoying being out for the night. It was fun. A little later, three guys and their girlfriends came over to me (I’d noticed them pointing at me a couple of times earlier) and mentioned that they’d seen my band play downtown, and invited me to their table. So I joined them.
We talked for an hour or so and had a pretty good time. Ironically enough, two of the girls were IT professionals, one was a philosophy major (which, I had to make some fun of), and the three guys were all in chemical/biology type of fields. It’s hard to find intelligent people to have a long conversation with (especially strangers), but they all certainly fit the bill. It almost seemed too coincidental.
I have to admit, I had the best time talking with the philosophy major, though, especially since I’m fascinated with the prospect of the ideas of consciousness and reality and everything in between. Her boyfriend seemed relieved that someone could cover that subject. As he put it, “If you guys go much beyond the movie ‘The Matrix’… I’ll be lost”. I liked him a lot, too.
Anyway.
They all insisted I tag along with them, so we ended up playing pool for a while at some rundown bar on Burnside, until finally deciding to call it a night. We said our goodbyes, exchanged e-mail addresses, and went our separate ways.
And here I am now, writing about my day, and feeling pretty good about everything that has transpired in the last 48 hours. Tomorrow is Friday and I’m going to a concert. Better yet, there’s another one Saturday that I will be attending. If I can just get some sleep tonight, I’ll be happy. And if not, I’ll still be okay.
Happy New Year everyone. Have a great 2009, and I sincerely hope it is filled with all that you could ever dream of, and more.