I suffer from insomnia, and I should really emphasize the word, “suffer”.
Most of my life I’ve been a restless sleeper, but these last three or four months have been some of the hardest for me in getting sleep. I used to be okay enough to get a few hours a night. Not enough to feel rested, but enough to function.
But not anymore, and I can’t figure out why. The nights just drag on endlessly. I try to read, watch TV, jog, write, exercise, play guitar, and hope that something brings me down far enough to crash. But it never happens. I’m sure my neighbors all think I’m insane at this point.The lights are always on around here, even late at night.
And you know, the insomnia wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so boring. And lonely. The rest of the world has fallen asleep, and I’m left to carry on for another 8 or 9 hours alone. It’s not horrible, but it just seems to emphasize the silence and the misery of being the last one standing. Sigh. I’ve only managed about 15 hours of sleep this month. 15. In 9 days. I don’t think that this is normal, and no amount of sleep aids, alcohol (oh yes, I’ve finally gone that route), lack of caffeine, or “cure” have done a bit of good.
I’ve been to the doctor about this two times in the past, and I’ve had all manner of test. I’m told that I should just give it time, and “try this sleep aid” (which never does anything).
And meanwhile, the night drags on… but at least I’ve killed 10 minutes writing this. Now what?