My brother posted a blog post recently, and in it, he expressed his disdain for the way women tended to treat him. His emotions and feelings were pretty familiar territory for me, as I’ve been treated as “just a friend” (as I’m sure many men have) on several occasions.
Here is the response that I wrote to him:
It’s rather unfortunate that so many women are exactly as you describe; but take consolation in the fact that not ALL women are like that. Every guy, with the exception of the aforementioned assholes and “models”, have been jammed up in “friend mode” on several occasions.
While I don’t have issues with it now, I’ve been considered “just a friend” on several occasions, and it’s quite frustrating.
The best advice I can provide on avoiding the friend category, as hard as it sounds, is to make sure that the woman that you’re interested in is aware of your intentions. If you like her “that way”, you need to bluntly (and preferably, when you first meet) tell her that your intention is romantic in nature. That sets the tone initially, and she will then know that your actions are working toward that goal.
Plus, if you’re initially shot down that first time, you’re no longer wasting time with someone who is not interested in you. You’re then free to simply pursue a friendship with them, or cut loose.
Otherwise, women will automatically assume you’ve come for friendship, and once you’ve been slotted to that category, you’re essentially locked in. Why? Because nobody wants to ruin good friendships, and a romantic endeavor, if it fails, will do just that.
We’ve had this conversation before (at the event), but I wanted to reiterate that you’re a good guy. You do have a lot to offer, and I know that somewhere, there’s a great women that not only deserves what you have to offer, but you deserve her as well.
So, gentlemen out there, is my advice sound? And for that matter, I’m sure many women have experienced the same phenomenon (but probably to a lesser extent).
Either way, love is such a fickle, confusing thing. But it’s worth it.